Tech Week

If I don't love you, don't look at me rn.

Rebecca (again)

As sick as I am of this stupid book, it's getting good. 22 chapters in and it's FINALLY getting good. Ugh.

perhaps perhaps perhaps.

hospital may be in my near future, dear friends.

Update on Rebecca

It's still bad. Getting better, but bad.

I personally adore this style of writing - Daphne duMauier writes in a Gothic Romantic styling, which is what used to be my writing style until, you know, I got out of middle school and developed my own writing voice, harkening more towards song lyrics than actual prose. But that's enough about me.
I love this style of writing but these characters just aren't sitting with me. I'm not seeing enough of Maxim to fully judge him. I know he's supposed to be aloof and distance but he is almost overwritten. Our narrator is too weak, too mousey, too timid. I don't like her at all. I spend too much time inside of her head, dwelling on her thoughts and insecurities to really even think about liking her. I think this book would be better told from a 3rd person perspective, but that's just me. What's weird is that I tend to prefer 1st person (well, 2nd person is actually my favorite but hardly anyone writes in that style.).

This all being said, I am only to Chapter 18. It's getting better and I am enjoying the plot. I just wish it was better written.

who could love me I'm out of my mind

well apparently Mayha could
woah
someones in love with me
fuck me call life alert

so long, sunshine.

spring's here, but yet, i feel myself saying goodbye to everything and everyone i've ever known. why is this? im not leaving. im not going anywhere. but yet i feel i cant stay, that im not staying, that im moving and drifting away from this place, or, perhaps, this world, this realm of consiousness. could that be it? perhaps ive outgrown this musty, backwater town and need to move onto greener pastures. or, perhaps, a place with no pastures at all. a cityscape, a sidewalk-lined utopia (well, perhaps not in a general sense, but for me at least). maybe i need a car and a job and someone to pay rent to and a bed that i own and a place to call "home." not the home i know now because that place isnt my home, its much closer to hell. i think i need to be as far away here as possible. california? i have family out there. family that care and love me and accept me for who i am, unlike the family around here, in indiana, in the place that i hate. i could go to arizona, too. 'cept for the fact theyre not trans* friendly, that in fact would be my preferred option. but since they passed that law, i think ill pass too. its kind of crazy, isnt it? ive been driven so slowly and surely insane by this place so many people call their home. it almost pains me to think about.

Woah.

My band director is friends with the guy who drew Jasmine. His story's really interesting.
I think I wanna work in Backstage Disney. Stage production. It'd be awesome.